{Dear Uterus}

Dear Uterus,
Although I absolutely despise you for being a complete pain in the ass for most of my life, I feel that it would be a huge oversight not to thank you for giving Adam and I a place to keep our babies safe. I really truly thank you...NOW GET THE HELL OUT! And if you could please do it quickly I would really appreciate it because I have all of this to come home to




Love,
Courtney

(Went to ER on Sunday night and was eventually admitted by Dr.A to the hospital. He has decided the best course of action is to do a total hysterectomy. I knew I was going to be having this surgery at some point, just wasn't exptecing it to be this soon.
Yikes! I am so worried about my family. The surgery has around a 3-week recovery time. Adam told me he has made some arrangements with people to help us out with the kids and that he can handle all of this. I feel so badly though. I am the one that is supposed to be taking care of our family.
So here goes, I am just going to throw all of my thoughts, fears, and worries out here without stopping for proper punctuation, grammar, or spelling: I am worried this will stress out Adam and he will get sick again, I am worried that I am not there for Max's bedtime and that the last thing I told him was that I was going out to dinner with "just the girls". All he knows is that I didn't come back. Is he going to worry about this EVERY time I go out by myself now? The poor child has dealt with Adam and I both being gone for 6 days when Jack and Lila were born. Then Adam was gone for his surgeries, two different times. I want to pick him up and hug him and squeeze him and smell his hair. I want to hold my little Jack and look at his big eyes. I want to see his humongous smile with only 4 little teeth but swollen gums coming out the wazoo. I want to hold my baby girl Lila on my lap and listen to her say "dada", my favorite is when she just barely whispers it. Ok, oops, I was supposed to be talking about my worries and got distracted by my kids. You know what I am sooooo upset about...The fact that I am going to miss my sister-in-law's bachelorette party. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was to go to that. It was going to have been the first time I would have ever gotten to hang out with just her without Adam around. I also feel terrible that I committed to that for her and others and now I have to bail. Ok, one last whine...we are going to miss Kenny Chesney)

P.S. F@ck you, stupid uterus! I am missing all the fun stuff.