{UNBELIEVABLE!!!}

I mean really?! Seriously?! Is this even possible?!

I guess it is possible and believable since, yes, it happened. Ok, here goes...wait, let me just preface this by saying that I am utterly mortified to even tell you this because I just cannot believe all the $hit that keeps on happening. I considered not even sharing todays events with you but then I thought, I have shared everything else, it wouldn't really be fair not to share this too. Ok, here goes, for real...

This morning I woke up to get Max up and dressed for school. That was my only responsibility today, get Max dressed for school. Adam was nice enough to pack his lunch for me and fix his breakfast. My mom was on her way over to pick him up to take him to school. So, once again, I reiterate, this was all I had to do today. Just as I am helping Msx get his pj bottoms off, I hear Brooks getting sick. I stand up and waddle over to the top of the steps and look over the railing to see him puking all over the foyer of our house. I immediately take off down the steps to try and head off the disaster by getting Brooks out the back door of the house so he can finish getting sick outside rather than all over our brand new house. I turn the corner from the foyer into the kitchen thinking to myself, how in the hell am I going to get on the floor to clean up all that puke in the foyer when BAM! both my feet fly out from under me and I land with an enormous thud directly on my tailbone. After the inital shock from the fall, I prop myself up on my elbows to find that I am now lying in the largest puddle of dog puke I have ever seen in my life. Let's just put aside how gross that is for a moment to discuss the fact that when my giant pregnant a$$ hit the floor I felt a small gush of fluid between my legs...and it wasn't dog puke. The adrenaline immediately kicks in because I fell so hard that I am now scared to death that I just caused my water to break.

I know that my mom is on her way to our house and will be there shortly but I also know that I need to go to the hospital immediately. I managed to roll and crawl to the kitchen desk and reach up for the phone. I called Adam and told him I had fallen and I needed him to come home. Luckily, he had just left for work a few minutes earlier and wasn't too far away. Just as I am hanging up the phone, my mom walks in. I'm sure seeing me on the floor like that scared her to death but she immediately began trying to help me up and figure out what had happened. At this point, Max comes downstairs to find out what all the ruckus is about. He, of course, is still pantless and has no underwear on at this point. So...picture this...me, sitting in a puddle of dog puke. My mom, trying to pull my gigantic self up out of the pile of dog puke. Max, standing on the edge of the puddle of dog puke with only a long-sleeved Christmas pajama shirt on that is two-sizes too small for him and no pants saying "Mommy, what happened? Momyy, why you sittin in Brooks' puke Mommy?" And then there is Brooks, who never got let out the back door and is now licking up all the dog puke. Oh what a site to see.

After my mom finally got me up off the floor, I told her about the gush I felt. She asked me if it could have been pee which I honestly hadn't thought about because it happened literally the second that my butt hit the ground. When she said that though, it gave me hope that maybe my water hadn't broken. I have never in my life hoped that I had peed my pants more than I did this morning. Anyway, I digress, she helped me out of my dog puke and either pee or amniotic fluid soaked clothes (yummy) in the laundry room. I then head to the steps to go upstairs, in only underwear and a bra I might add, to try to change before Adam got home to take me to the hospital. At this point, Msx is now standing at the top of the steps waiting for me because Nonnie told him to go upstairs and put some pants on. He begins pointing at my underwear and yelling "Aw Mommy, you got, you got, you got, um...you got, Broops' puke on youw underwears Mommy. It all over de place Mommy." He always knows how to make me smile. I make it up the steps and Adam walks in the door.

He helped me wash off my feet and hands and got me dressed in some clean clothes. He also got our hospital bags zipped up (we keep them packed in the guest bedroom since we go so often these days) and helped me down the steps. When we came downstairs, my Mom had begun to clean up the massive mess of dog puke that was everywhere. Poor thing, she had no idea what she was walking into this morning. I kissed her and Max goodbye and got in the car with Adam.

By the time we had arrived at Christ and I tried to get out of the car, I realized that I could not walk because I was in so much pain. For the first time ever, I had to have Adam wheel me in the hospital in a wheelchair. We went straight up to L&D, our usual spot, where I am now a "regular". They don't even ask for my photo ID anymore. It is actually really embarrassing. None the less, they took me to my triage room and hooked me up to the monitors. Dr.A called and ordered some tests, one is called the "fern" test and another blood test that is called a "BK". The "fern" tests to see if the fluid present is amniotic or otherwise and the "BK" checks to see if your blood has mixed with other blood in your body indicating a placental tear. The placental tear is the greatest fear when you fall during pregnancy because you can bleed to death very quickly if that happens. In this case, we weren't so concerned with that because placental tearing usually only happens in severe trauma, like a car accident, or a major fall on your belly. Given that I fell on my back, which by the way is the best place to fall when you are pregnant, it didn't seem as though this could be a cause for concern. For precautionary measures though, he wanted it done anyway.

The resident came in and performed the fern test. I was crying so hard before the test because I was in so much pain from falling that I couldn't move into the position I need to be to perform the test. Adam and the resident and nurse were all so kind and understanding. They basically moved me themselves because I couldn't do it. Once I was finally in position, they used a speculum to look at the cervix and then ask you to cough to visually see if there is fluid coming out. Then they swab the fluid with a giant q-tip and put it on a slide. Then the take the slide and look at it under a microscope. If it looks like a fern leaf than it is amniotic fluid, if it doesn't then you just peed your pants. Guess who peed her pants today??!! No fern leaf for me. Thank goodness! To be honest, by the time we got to the hospital and I realized that no more fluid had come out, I pretty much knew that my water hadn't broken. Based on my experience with my water breaking with Max, this was just not enough fluid to be the same thing.

Dr. A came in to see me and check up on his (least)favorite patient. He talked about how he needed to keep me there for at least 4 hours to monitor me for contractions. He also wanted to see if I would be able to get up and walk after receiving pain meds so that I would be able to go home if all my tests came back ok. So, they drugged me up and told me to rest.

Fast-forward 4 hours, results of BK test came back negative and I was finally able to stand up out of bed on my own (on two pain pills) to walk to the restroom. They dishcharged me and we headed home.

So, here I am now, finally back in my own bed. And not to sound like a broken record but Really?! Seriously?! How do these kinds of random things keep happening?! It just doesn't seem possible?! Since we know now that the babies are ok, we can joke about how ridiculous this has all been. Only a few more weeks until the madness is over...well until THIS madness is over.

For now though, I am stuck in bed even more than I already was because I literally cannot stand up and walk because it hurts so bad. Should make my 6 trips to the restroom in the middle of the night quite interesting. I forsee being very sore for the next couple of days but am hopeful that by Sunday or Monday I will be on the mend. Putting aside all the pain and discomfort, I am so so so thankful that our babies are still tucked away in my belly, safe and sound. Today was very scary for us and we feel blessed that nothing more serious happened.